kellyHIGH

14 november
Christian
<3
the world is my classroom
Faith Community Baptist Church
hiddenfromview@hotmail.com cost-of-misery.livejournal.com

i'm spastic & i know it. i laugh for no reason & cannot stop. have weird crazes thats not normal & i'm usually not sane. that's who i am. i'm not easily annoyed, but when i am i not easily not annoyed. any questions ? ask the person who made me.


SCREAMS




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THEPAST

  • September 2006
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  • January 2007
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  • September 2009
  • October 2009



  • CREDITS
    Weijie | prozac.puppets

    Saturday, January 27, 2007

    okay. im like, stones. i dont know. hmmm. yeah. yesterday had network prayer thing for santification week. its at tc lorhhh. must rush there after schoool cans. oh mannn. yeah. nothing much to blogg actually. yeah.

    i think im like, getting over you already. i dont know. my dont ask me why. i think you hate me.

    YIJING said somthing yesterday to me. somehow, i just hate the past. i just hate it. not that it is very bad memories or something. but its just like, i dont know it rushing back suddenly like that.





    -just go away, can you ?

    posted @ 1:49 PM |

    Monday, January 22, 2007

    haiyo. yeah. all the crap today. yeah. STUPID lessons and all. oh mann. so retarded cans. i wanna like, likk the teachers oe something. DAMN THEM. RARHH ! okay. yeah.

    yesterday
    hmmm. yeah. G-KIDZ. oh mann. yeah. was grabbbed for worship duty. NONONO. not timonty club. DAVID CLUB. haha. yeah. quite fun actually. and i just found out that i TOTALLY SUCK at mirror image mann. haha. a few times i just stunned there. haha. yeah

    then there was lunch. some new guy called RUSSEL came. yeah. link link link from my mum one. i styled MY SIS' hair. haha. turned out quite nice actually. haha. MY CREATION. i love it mann. haha. yeah. then DENISE styled y hair. her styling was quite nice actually. but like, oops. okay. my hair is too long. so it went flat in the end. yeah. then everyhting yesterday was quite fun actually. haha.

    today
    call it MONDAY BLUES or whatever you want. i dont care. yeah. probably just SCHOOL BLUES or somethin mann. i cant stand it. school's actually quite fun. but its tends to be too, like, follow time table. every week the same. its so typical. and so it gets boring and all. DAMN.


    oh mann. i saw you. but i really dont want to. i thought i was going to die okay. i almost had to look you in the face. but i turned away. if i didnt, i'll probably die or something. i dont think i'll be able to take it. but whatever. i think im getting over you already. i better hope so. haha. and this would then be my shortest one ever. yeah.





    -thinking of another YOU

    posted @ 5:38 PM |

    Thursday, January 18, 2007

    niccck : evilll youu. haha. sorry larhh. chinese is vey baddd. haha. :)

    oh mann. okay. today met HONEY. yeah. in the morning then like, walk walk around school lorhh. then JESS came just before assembly started. haha. yeah. during LIT i was actually doing the AGENDA cans. haha. retarded. but whatever. then bleah. blanked out the rest of the day. yeah. did some nonsense in the TOILET during CHEMISRTY. yeah. haha. then school ended. came home lorhh.

    HONEY just told me that ZAM took our locker just because FRANCIS told her that she can use it. DAMN her larh. tell her go look at the list cann. BLIND issit ? i never wear specs also can see okay. that locker is under HONEY's namee. DAMN YOU.

    yeah. so much to do today. but i just cant start. i dont know why. im just stoning at the com. but once i go into my room i'll just play the guit until i sleep. haha. yeah.

    oh mann. every single thing reminds me of you. whyyy. i dont wanna think about it cann. it feels so RARHH ! yeah. i dont ddare face you. i just dont. NICCC. dont tell me to. i know im like a coward. i cant really be bothered now. i just feel super depressed right now. i dont know whyy.





    -dont tell me i cant love you anymore

    posted @ 3:28 PM |

    Tuesday, January 16, 2007

    oh mann. came hom after chemistry. yeah. too 195 as usual. my legs hurt like mad. i dontknow whyy. haha. probably from pe yesterday. but that was wayyy long ago. haha. yeah. now im like, home. with so little people at home. oh mann. i wanna blog. but i have nothing much to type. im going NEE AN POLY this friday. haha. so retarded. so i guess i have to miss training. all the sec 4s anyways.

    some how, i dont feel that bad anymore. i dontknow why. but i seriously dont want you to know anything. or i'll never be able to face you again. oh mann. wonder if there's anyone now. haha. yeah.





    -wondering what you actually think

    posted @ 4:24 PM |


    oh man. i'm having social studies now. yeah. its boring. and like pathatic. the teacher asked me to like hand in my holiday assignment. yeah. but i havent done. so later must rush home to do after chemistry lessons. yeah. i wanna go online okayyy. yeah. so distracting in school now. dont know why. i keep drifting away during lessons. yeah.

    posted @ 10:58 AM |

    Monday, January 15, 2007

    sometimes. dont know why i would just feel so down. i dont know why. its like. ultra weird. yeah. i'll just feel ultra down and all. yeah. i'll feel so insecure and feel like everything is going to fly at me any second. i dont know why.

    oh mann. its like, o levels this year. i dont know why i keep thinking about it. yeah. the thought of it stresses me out. yeah. its only the start of the year mann. i got ALOT to catch up on okay. also cause my past few years of work aint that good either. yeah.

    i dont know why. but i seem to be like, forcing myself to get over you. why. i do all stupid ways. yeah. cause i dont ever want to face you with that kind of stuff any more. or i'll never be able to look you in the eye. oh mann. it is so ultra weird. sighs. i want sunday to come. i wanna see you. but i dont wanna face you....

    posted @ 10:08 PM |


    okay. doc went in already. yeah. my stupid phone doesnt have the enter enter thing. so no paragraphs with entries with my phone. haha. yeah. pathatic. okay. got back my stupid a maths test thing today. failed horribly. yeah. didnt study whattt. so what do you expect. yeah.

    i just feel like giving up on everything. it all doesnt work out at all. nothing seems to be going well. i'm like, lost in this mad world with no end. i'm so gonna die. yeah. its so depressing. yeah. all i hear are screams and groans with agony around me. and i dont know what to do. what to react. the world is a confusing one. really dont want to keep thinking about you. luckily i didnt see you yesterday. i dont know. one part of me wanted to see you again. but another part couldnt bear to. i dont know why. nicole tells me to just face you. but i just cant. i guess i really have no guts after all. yeah.





    -will i ever ever dare look you in the eye again ?

    posted @ 5:39 PM |


    oh man. i'm like at the dental thing with dorcas. yeah. i'm like stoning. waiting for her turn. yeah. and using my stupid gprs on my phone. yeah. crazy larh. it'll be super ex okay. and my mother will kill me. haha. okay. yeah. shall run away for a while.

    posted @ 5:15 PM |

    Saturday, January 13, 2007

    this is pathatic. oh mann. i got like so many things to be done by today. but its like. RARHH ! my brain is not working into it yet. haiyo. im just so distracted larh. but some stuff. yeah. and now there's like, rc stuff pulled in also cans. so irritating. yeah.





    -there's wayyyy to many things on my mind. but the main thing thats there is, you.

    posted @ 7:58 PM |


    yesterday
    had like some chinese mock exam thing. yeh. so retarded. some letter writing thing. haha. then had training. we played like lots of games. then left early with YIJING. went to my house. bathe change and went for JIARONG's birthday party in a dress. haha. i couldnt do anything. that was the dress code.

    yeah. gave JIARONG her 21 RED ROSES. haha. it was like super heavy. and it cost 60 bucks. haha. yeah. then went through the programme thing. yeah. we planned for AMANDA's birthday in front of her. but she couldnt hear. yeah. it was quite fun actually, the party. yeah. then left around 10 plus. then sent DENISE home. yeah.

    today
    i was SUPPOSED to go to clippers and cut hair with DORCAS. in the end my parents change change change change the planns until. i cant be bothered. i have to mood already. yeah. so now im llike slacking at home. chattingon msn.


    i so gonna have a relaspe tmr. yeah. with NICC. i'll die if i see you. really readlly really die. oh mann. lets hope your friend doesnt ask me anything during children ministry yeah ? cause im just going to die of embarrassement okay. and if my sis opens her mouth. i'll die even more. yeah. dont ask me anything. cause i dont wanna hear it. cause i wouldnt know how to answer. cause i wouldnt dare to answer. cause i wouldnt dare look at you...




    -where are you when i need someone to talk to ?

    posted @ 1:27 PM |

    Thursday, January 11, 2007

    geokying : haha. i'll tell you during history okay ? haha. if not we'll stay back one day and talk talk talk. haha

    dorc : go practice more ! haha. when you start really practicin, it'll be like that one. haha. go practice everyday. play the whole somg twice at least. haha.

    posted @ 9:12 PM |


    today had like lit first lesson. oh mann. i fell asleep. i dontknow why. MISS KOH isnt THAATTT boring okay. but i guess i was just tired. haha. yeah. then pe was pathatic. we had to run like mad. then got some funny drill to do. omgg. i was like laughing like mad okayyy. haha. yeah. then had our shorts SOAKED cause we sat on the pitch which was like soaking wet. haha. retarded okayy. yeah. i cant remember what else happened during the day.

    then stayed back with HONEYY. yeah. to eat. thats all. then JAMIE came and went. then JESS came. haha. talked laughed and crapped like MADD okayy. haha. yeah. the later left school around 4. i got drenched in the rain as usual. yeahh. then got home. managed to catch csi before it ended. haha. then rushed to do the english essay thing. yeah. and my tutor is SUPPOSED to come at 7.30. and he's not here yet. oh mann. moron. yeah.

    i cant stand it any longer. every single thing reminds me of you. i dontknow why. i dontknow how. but i just always do. and every thought of you kills me. nothing happened at all, actually. but the thought of you knowing what is actually in me, kills me. it retarded i know. but i just happens. i dont wanna see you on sunday. i dont think i'll dare face you already.





    -heard that you are coming back this summer :)

    posted @ 8:37 PM |

    Wednesday, January 10, 2007

    hmmm. NICC and i are like totally suffering from like post-what-happened-on-sunday illness. yeah. we are both dying of EMBARRASSEMENT. oh damnn. yeah. im like, TOTALLY distracted about what happened on sunday until now okayy. yeah. until i cant concenrate during lessons. im going to die already luhh. then i think NICC and i will have another relaaspe on sunday again. haha. so retarded.

    had school today. yeah. and my stupid migraine came back again. so irritating cans. yeah. then couldnt pay much attention during lesson. yeah. my mind was a million miles away. yeah. then had like training. oh mann. i think our unit is pathatic. haiyo. yeah. but must try and work harder lorh. i dont wanna come back after my 'o' s with no unit okayy. haha. yeah. then went to TIONG MACS to eat. with DORC lorhh. then met KELLY SHARON and DAWN. yeah. the took bus home.

    OH MANN. i got so many things to do larhh. got a maths 1. got a maths 2. have to type the cell retreat reflections. the testimony for the vietnam trip. the reflections for the vietnam trip. english essay. ss research. tuition homework. history worksheet. oh mann. now this is what i call total retarded-ness. haha. yeah.

    my mind is really distracted right now. its like, it keeps flying back to sunday. then whole thing keeps replaying and replaying in my mnd every time. i dontknow why. and it will stop and start randomly everywhere. it really makes me unable to concentrate for everything. thoughts and questions keeps runnning through my mind. everything just keeps on coming. before i can ask a question, another comes to take its place. it all just comes to fast to focus on one. i dont think i'll recover by sunday. i dont think i'll ever dare face you anymore.





    -trying to push the thoughts of you from my mind

    posted @ 7:39 PM |

    Tuesday, January 09, 2007

    today i was like. asleep the whole day. i dont know why. yeah. but just felt very tired. i didnt like, listen during lessons so nothing much to say anyways. yeah. i only remembered that zuraida made me read some question thing from the projector that caused me a headache. yeah.

    oh mann. i cant think of anything right now. i dontknow why i keep thinking of that day. i wished nothing had happened. i dont want you to find out anything. its wayyy too obvious already. and i dont think i'll ever dare to face you again. everything is going wayyy wrong. serious dont know what to do or react. some how i wish that what started almost a year ago didnt start at all. i dont think i'll ever look at you again.

    posted @ 5:06 PM |